Should my opinions about the baby shower matter if the party is being thrown for me by my MIL?

Question

Am I being selfish or should my MIL at least consider my opinions and perspective on the shower that she's throwing?

Answer

If someone else is throwing you a party shouldnt you be greatful that the person wants to pay for it.... If you are that worried about yourself then throw it yourself

Answer

I voted yes previously because I though it would be a big/main event. But now that you explain it, it seems like it will be a small affair with just a few female aquentances. I'd say just let your MIL throw you the tea party since she is planning and paying for it. Sounds boring but you'll get into it once you are there. Then you can plan and pay for a co-ed shower/party to your liking. If she questions you, just agree with your husband that you will say that he wanted to celebrate with everyone and that is why you are having a second shower/party. White lie/pick your battles philosophy.

Answer

I'd sit down and think about which parts of what you want are really worth bringing up. For me, the only request I made was no silly or embarrassing games since it was really important to me.  Find a tactful way to get ideas in her head, perhaps via your spouse (he could tell her things like, hey, so and so has been dreaming about this thing at her shower , just so you know).  Let him get your wishes to her so she doesn't feel like you're being ungrateful . Everyone wins!

Answer

I think it depends on what you are referring to...if its silly like food or games or something then id let it fly but if theres a problem with guest list or time/date or something that you always wanted at your baby shower then it doesnt hurt to talk to her about it politely!

Answer

I'd be grateful. The only thing that I would suggest is that I make my own registry. This is my second child and I am responsible for everything except a portion of the venue. I would be so grateful if someone offered to throw me a shower.

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Do you have any friends that can step up? We have had so many baby showers in my "crew" so my friends have stepped up and called my mom to help in some sort of way..

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I personally think you should have some input. This is why I'm throwing my own because my mother in law can be very controlling & I want my baby shower to go a certain way. I want a certain theme. And it's my first child so I want to have my baby shower the way I want. Things like the food & games I wouldn't be that concerned about but I think she should respect your wishes as to what theme you want & such.

Answer

To an extent, sure. Guest list, timing, some input on the theme and location. If she's throwing it, though, she should have say in it as well. My mom asked me what theme and what kind of food I wanted, and we made the guest list together. Then she ran with it. It was a lot of fun!

Answer

I personally think your opinions should matter but I'm going through the same thing. I have no say in the shower my MIL is throwing for me. I even had to ask her to throw one. I asked for a 2 hour party she scheduled it for 3. I asked for it at a pretty park, she made it at a park that has a softball field to play wiffle ball during it. I asked if there would be games or anything and I'm not getting told anything about it. They also made it cowboy themed without asking me. I mean I love everything country but it seems like a weird theme for a shower and my husband isn't the biggest into all that stuff. It's also not about the baby as much as it is about my husband. It's going to be interesting. Sometimes I think she forgets about me havin g anything to do with the baby being born. She also isn't really inviting people so we are having a shower for 3 hours with like 15 people.. it's going to be a doozy.

However my mom is throwing us one where we live and I have A TON of input! She wants me to enjoy it and my husband to as well since it's for us and our baby. The focus is mainly on our baby, not us.

Answer

I told my family I'd just show up if they'd let me. But they ask me about everything and I think it's wonderful. Don't really want to do much planning but it's nice to be asked. I think if you want to be involved then make it a point.

Should my opinions about the baby shower matter if the party is being thrown for me by my MIL?

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