Well I delivered my baby early at 31 weeks and he is in the NICU berly a month and we he was on an isocillator first then with another venting machine that's a little softer and then the regular oxygen machine but he just went back to the venting machine . I can't seem to gather my self when he needs more support or how I see it a step back . I am here sitting I the waiting room trying not to cry . I delivered my son by my self since my hubby ha d just started his new job and my mother had just left to be able to get my nephew from school. I can't seem to keep it together I a so emotionally drained and I feel like my son is not going to make it . I feel like this roller coaster is not for me but for some reason I was placed in it from God I can't be mad but all I can think off is he is going to make it or am I going to have to let him go . My husband is the optimistic one he tries to help but it doesn't help and all I want to do sometimes is just ask him for is a divorce and I have but he won't acccept it . He thinks he can still salvage the marriage how can he when I have my son trying to make it ans his mother being a jerk half of the time like if my son is hers wanting to take control of things . I know my husband told me what she tried to do when visiting my son she tried to boss the nurses to tell her what's going on but all they can do is tell my husband or me . My husband said she wa a mad and wanted him to report them . Lady it's called privacy for my son only me and my husband get to make a decission not you or any one else . I don't know what to think or how to feel at this point .