Not feeling good enough

Sometimes I feel like I'm not good enough. Sometimes I feel like it hurts him to have to touch me. I have gained a lot of weight since we got together in 2014. And I feel like that bothers him. Sometimes I feel like he doesn't what to have a baby has much as I do. He tells me he does but I feel like he doesn't. I know I am ready. But is he? He never wants to have sex with me. He has excuses like " I'm tired" or " I have a head ache" but is it me? He tells me he loves me every day. He tells me I look beautiful today. Tells me he likes the perfume I'm wearing. But does he mean it? I love him oh so much!! He's my everything. He was my first...... I feel like he just doesn't realize that I'm feeling hurt. I don't want us to end. He's my life. If I didn't have him I would not be where I am at today. I love him.......😭😭