Abusive relationship

I know I should leave and I want to but I'm scared. I'm scared he is going to hurt me for leaving and will try to take our child away. This has been an on going thing and hasn't stopped. I've talked to abuse hot lines for courage and when I build it up he leaves and talks about hurting himself or states he will mess up my family's house (my parents). I'm not happy and when I am I know it's fake and it will soon end. He's had hit me in front of our child, yells at my, talks down to me and so on. We got into an argument and I have a feeling it's because he has been drinking. I tell him to stop but blames it all on me and keeps it going talking about how I'm a bitch and so on. I guess the point of this post was to let myself vent. I don't need no negative comments,it already understand what I should do like I said before I'm scared. If you've never been in the situation don't speak on it like it's easy or something.

Update: and the thing that gets to me is he can fall asleep with no worries in the world,like he didn't do anything wrong right now. I know he doesn't love me cuz if you loved someone you wouldn't treat them that way.