i been f*cked over so many times and its like my trust issues are crazy and i have this anger inside of me.. idk... but im 22 and i have a boyfriend of 2 years and hes 26,, i feel like im a mean person and i dont realize it until i get home .... like i say dumb stuff to him but hes not even doing anything and being so nice to me and here i go sayin " turn ur stupid ass gay music off " i hate ur shit" and he politely shuts it off FOR me , like tonight that happen and now i regret saying those things and here crying  how mean and ignorant i am to him😔i dont want to lose him because im so mean and controlling.... I want to stop!! But like i said i been efffed over alot of time in high school and mistreated now i have this anger in me and its getting the best of me in this relationship.... 😰please ladies what do i do?