We're moving back in with my parents to save money but my parents' house is falling apart. There are holes in the roof and mold on the walls. My mom is a hoarder so there's stuff everywhere. All I have is a bedroom here to seek refuge in. My husband's family is across the country but he was adopted and they ended up abandoning him when he was 17 so he's never looked back. 

My husband is gone for work during the week 5am-7pm Monday through Thursday. I'm in grad school during the week and am sometimes not home till 10 and by then he's asleep. He works in construction so he's extremely tired on his days off and likes to just have time to himself - and I feel bad asking him to go do things that might take my mind off my worries because I see how exhausted he is. 

I feel so guilty bringing a child into this-it's so far from the plan I had. 

To add insult to injury I have to live in the same house as my father who physically abused me as a child. He's 75 now and cannot hurt anyone as he's very weak from a terminal cancer and brain injury that causes him to have the cognitive functioning of a 15 year old boy. But he is still moody and rude to everyone around him- much like a 15 year old. 

I know this is only temporary and my child won't remember any of this - but I will. How can I ever make this up to him ? I don't want him exposed to any of this but I don't start working until February and even then it's teaching part time so I can finish my master's to hopefully work full time next year with the school district - that's if I make it through this next  semester with a newborn and graduate. 

I'm so stressed. I needed to vent. But more than anything I just need someone to tell me it's going to be ok that I'm going to be ok and my baby and our family will be ok. I need to believe that but I don't.  I'm having such a hard time seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. 

I'm begging someone or anyone to please just give me words of encouragement because I feel like giving up. I keep having break downs. I need to be stronger but I feel so weak...