I want to start a family

Hi guys. My name is Nikki and I am 18. I have been wanting to have a child for a while now. I know the time is not right to have one but I feel like I am dying inside without a child. I am going to be an open book here. I have baby names picked out, I write little notes to my future children, I often pray to be able to bare children and wish for them to be healthy. I am about to start a hope chest. For my future family. Sometimes I lay on my bed and place my hands on my stomach and close my eyes, I talk to my stomach. Yes I realize it's odd. I talk to my future kids that are not even in there. It's been like this for a few years. I would love some feed back from you ladies. Is this weird ? Is there something wrong with me ?