Are some things better left unsaid?

Question

So my bf and I dated for 2 years and then we broke up. We were broken up for a year and now we're back together. I dated SEVERAL men while we weren't together. I guess you can say I went though a wild phase. He'll randomly ask me questions about what/who I did during our break up. Like who was it, did we have sex, how many times, did we use protection, etc. Honestly I feel like it's none of his damn business and I've expressed this to him. He thinks that we shouldn't have any secrets and that I should tell him EVERYTHING! I just feel like what's the point? What would he gain from knowing? I know it'll only make him upset and make him look at me differently. I attached our text about the issue. This is what he said, what do you guys think? Are somethings better left unsaid or should I be an open book?

Answer

I think if you don't want to discuss it, you should both go get tested.

Answer

I feel no matter which answer is right or wrong, the main issue is that you two do not agree on whether or not your histories should be fully known to each other. If you truly believe it is none of his business and aren't willing to tell him, and if he truly believes your lives should be a complete open book to each other and would be unhappy otherwise, then there is a compatibility issue.

Answer

None of his business. 
I never never mention anyone I went out with Ronny husband. And if I didn't have a son I would have made out i was a virgin lol (jokes) 
But seriously you were not together and what you got up to is nothing to do with him. Just refuse to talk about it. Xx

Answer

The text seems quite manipulative to me.  He's going to keep trying to find things to say to you to make you feel bad and obligated to tell him what went on while you were broken up.  Don't fall for it.  You need to take control of the situation and tell him you're not going to tell him and he needs to let it go and move on if he wants to continue a relationship with you.  If he keeps pushing just ignore him and if he threatens to end the relationship over it then you need to ask yourself if he's really worth getting back together with.

Answer

i'd tell him everything, but that's just how my relationship with my boyfriend is, no secrets 
I do think he deserves to know if you were having protected sex or not so he can determine whether he needs testing

Answer

The fact that he won't let it go suggests that he'll use the information against you. He's not entitled to a list of past partners.

Answer

My boyfriend and I broke up for a little over a month I got with a few guys some people were telling me he was trying to get with a couple girls. I don't want to know what he did he doesn't want to know what I did. We broke up and it'll only upset us both knowing about it.

Answer

There is no universal correct answer to this question. Only what's right for you guys. If he feels this way very strongly and you want to be with him then you might have to spill the beans. If you're not willing to then maybe you can't be together. Or maybe he can let it go but he seems to have a pretty strong opinion about what commitment means, and that includes transparency. It's important to agree on what commitment means to each other and both try to honour that

Answer

you guys were broken up. in that time frame he doesn't need to know who you went out with or what y'all did. the only reason would be if he's concerned about getting a std then that's understandable. but i feel somethings are better left unsaid in this situation.

Answer

He needs to butt out. The only thing you  need to say is if you didn't use protection

Are some things better left unsaid?

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