I have noticed over the last week that leaving my boy at the NICU and only being there for a short visit has become easy to me. So easy in fact that i have skipped going to to see him two nights this week. I know this isn't good. This isn't normal behaviour, i had even told myself that i don't even need to take breast milk to him, that they can just give him formula.(my heart slapped my brain for that thought) i have his sister home and it just seems to not even bother me that he isn't home. I get anxious and excited when they say he might come home on said day. But the the day comes and passes and he isn't home. I think i have started to close myself off from him to avoid the disappointment of not bringing him home. At what point does acceptance of a situation become a bad thing? Has it gone too far? Is bonding still possible with a child that i am ok with just leaving behind in the NICU?