For ladies who have experienced Pregnancy Loss

Susan
This is my second pregnancy. Due Aug 12,2017. My first baby was due March 15,2017. I am excited to be pregnant, don't get me wrong, but I feel like I don't have as much hope for this pregnancy as I did for my first. A few short months ago, I was pinteresting nursery themes, picking out names, and thinking of fun ways to make our big announcement. This time, I'm avoiding going to the doctor. I don't want to see the ultrasound. I don't want to become attached until I'm farther along. I feel like my miscarriage broke me in a sense. It left me feeling empty & useless. I'm terrified of something happening again. Has anyone else experienced this? Are these normal feelings? How did you become optimistic of your next pregnancy?
I also want to share that I had trouble going back to church after my miscarriage. Last week I decided that I was going back to church on Sunday. Saturday night I had a "feeling," & took a pregnancy test which came out positive. The next day at church, the preacher spoke about bringing Joy back into your life... coincidence? Or God telling me that He will provide, He will bring us Joy when the time is right?