Never thought this would be us

Megan • 2 first Tri losses, one rainbow baby-Finley James, and one second Tri loss-Eleanor Ruth
I don't even want to type the words, let alone say them out loud.  We lost our baby today.  I had some light cramping yesterday and planned to call my doctor today if it continued.  I woke up for work and the cramping was still there and now I was bleeding.  We spent about 3 hours in the ER going through blood draws, pelvic exams, and ultrasounds.  They could not find a heartbeat on either ultrasound.  Baby measured at only 8 weeks but I was supposed to be 9 weeks 2 days today.  I know I'm not the only one that this has happened to, but that doesn't make it any easier.  We wanted this baby.  I couldn't wait to be a mommy and now all I feel is devastation and sorrow.  The hospital was very kind to us and even gave us a really great picture from the ultrasound.  Even though I know it will never get any bigger, I feel some peace looking at it and seeing those tiny little arms and legs. We will try again, but I think this will always be a mark on my heart.