A year ago I decided I was done with abuse. I left my partner and began the long road to recovery. I learned to love myself again. I had to go to court to get a restraining order, I had to file police reports, I had to move back in with my parents. It was a LOT of work. But I decided I wanted healthy love in my life.

 

A year after leaving I find myself dating a great guy. Good, sweet, stable, well educated, nice, kind, handsome, good job, wants family. But, and here is where I need the advice of women who have left abusive relationships.....that passion isn't there. I'm having trouble understanding if there's something missing in our relationship, or if that passion I had with my ex was just a part of the abuse. When it was good, it was so so so good, but it was so frequently so bad. 

 

With my ex there was this sexual magnetic pull. When things were good I adored him and he me. My new guy seems to physically adore me, and I am attracted to him, but, that pull isn't there. I don't "NEED him right now" ever. Is that what a healthy relationship is like? Is this what it's supposed to be like? 

 

If I stay, and I do really care about him, will that deep passion grow? Is that lust, that high school can't keep your hands off each other, is that what people have in healthy relationships or was that part of the bad?