how often is normal to have sex?

Question

My fiancé and I are both in our 20s, and we only have sex about 2-3 times a month, I have quite a high sex drive and feel like I'd like to have sex more often. After being together for a few years I know sex does slightly dip, we were having sex almost every day (sometimes multiple times a day) in the beginning of our relationship but now with his busy work schedule it's almost as though we have to book an appointment to have sex, like "okay tomorrow we'll have sex" and it kind of takes the spontaneity out of it.. any advice? Thanks x

Answer

Soph I'm in the same boat as you. Unfortunately my husband doesn't have as high of a sex drive as I do.. we usually have sex once a month and during the fertile week since we are trying to conceive. I've told him we're going to start doing at least three times in the fertile week but I feel the same as you.. it's just not as enjoyable when you've got to plan it out.

Answer

"Normal" depends on the couple. I'd like it 3-4 times a week. My husband would like it 4-5 times a week. We manage at least 3 most weeks. But we also have full time careers and 3 small kids under age 5. We've been together for 9 years.

What matters here is that you aren't getting it enough for you, and that's worth discussing and compromising on. You need to put your relationship first. Find the time for intimacy, even if it's not sex.

Answer

Like others have said, it depends upon your relationship, but If you aren't happy with the amount the best thing to do is talk.

I have a super high sex drive! My boyfriend doesn't. But communication is the key.

I know what you mean about having to plan it out, my boyfriend doesn't enjoy sex if we plan it. So i just start it most of the time lol. Especially when I'm ovulating.

Answer

I'm 18, and my boyfriend is 19. We don't live together but we have sex if not daily, every other day. And when we do have sex that day it's usually 2-3 times. We've been together or 2 1/2 years.

Answer

Thank you everyone for your comments 💖

Answer

I'm 41 and my fiance is 27. My sex drive is higher than his and even more so since I'm pregnant. I'm used to having sex at least twice a week for most of my life, and I get a little crazy if I don't. We started off like anyone, all the time, multiple times a day, etc. We've been together 3 years now and still have sex 2-3 times a week but more would be fine with me!  Everyone is different and some people are fine with everyday and some people see OK with once a month. I know people who do it twice a year. I couldn't hack that. Lol. The most important thing is that you and your so are on the same page and both satisfied. Sometimes it's up to the higher need partner to make it happen more often. Get a little sexy with texts and photos teasing him during the day so that by the time you see him he's ramped up a little. Spice it up with some new stuff and keep your enthusiasm high. Sometimes work and life stress gets in the way. Sex should be a fun way to get rid of that stress, not a responsibility that adds to it. Good luck!

how often is normal to have sex?

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