Is this selfish?

Question

My boyfriend and I have been dating for over a year now. After dating for a few weeks, I found out that he smoked pot infrequently. I was kind of upset because I'm extremely asthmatic and have anxiety issues so I was like "I'm not a fan of smoking". I came over one night and he was high and it just made me feel bad about myself because in my head he needed to be high to be happy and that I wasn't good enough. 
After a few months, I told him that it made me depressed that he smoked and he hasn't smoked since. I've felt guilty about it because I felt like it wasn't my place to tell him what he can/can't do.

Was this wrong of me?

Answer

If he chose to quit smoking for you then you didn't ask him to change, he just did. However I do think you are feeling very insecure. Him occasionally smoking weed has absolutely nothing to do with you. In a good or bad way. He does it cuz he enjoys doing it. If you came over one night and he had a few beers earlier that night would you feel the same way? He smokes weed for the same reason people have a beer or two. And if he invited you after he smoked or knew you were coming and smoked anyway he probably feels comfortable with you. Cuz I know my fiancé smokes and he won't smoke if we have guests coming over or if we go out. Only in front of people he's comfortable with.

Answer

In the end it was his choice to stop, remember that. You can't force someone to do anything. Plus it means he cares about you, your relationship, and each other's health.

Answer

He's not smoking because you're not good enough. It's just a great way to relax, to get a different perspective on the world, or for some, to deal with sleep apnea.

My boyfriend used to get angry at me for smoking. I was furious with him for trying to control my life. It had nothing to do with him, it's my own body and my own mental state that I'm exploring. I have always been a poor sleeper and it helped me to get enough sleep at night to have the energy to focus on school, volunteering, and work every day. I respect that he has personal issues with marijuana, but I respect my own decisions too and expect him to as well.

You are partners and it is good to talk about your opinions, and if your partner has a real problem physically or emotionally that's another situation entirely. but one should never tell the other how to live their life.

Answer

So I'm super asthmatic too, and I've been with my bf for almost 9 years.. he has always smoked even before we met so he just know to take my asthma into consideration whenever he does smoke.. for example he will go outside or to another room.. just tlk to him about how you feel but also try to be open minded going into the conversation.

Is this selfish?

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