so conflicted

Amy • Wife ✨ Momma to a little girl & a little boy
My baby daddy broke up with my right before Christmas. We just moved into a home two months prior to that. And before that we had only been back together for a month. He's left me about 4 times. Three times now while pregnant. He told me I was selfish and was negative and he couldn't deal anymore. I've had complication after complication and I just haven't been very happy. And every fight he put me down. So I was starting into a depression. Well it's been a week and a half now since we've been over and some days are better than others. Except last night. We fought and start talking shit. And he started shit talking about how I'm going to raise our daughter with poor ethics. Meanwhile he is almost 30. This is his second child. He's seen his other daughter 4 times and she is 6. Granted they live in another state. He lives now back with his mother. He sees no wrong with anything he's done to me and he sees nothing wrong with his attitude or what's he's done. He put himself in 7000$ of debt. I sat there and tried to do what I could. Couples counseling, anything. He sat there with his legs crossed and didn't care and said he didn't love me anymore. Question is. He expects to be in the delivery room when she is born and expects to know what happens and everything between now and then. Yet last week he told me that if I don't wish to speak to him until she is born that that is okay. He's mentally torn me apart and he's verbally abusive. He says he is going to be a part of her life and do everything he can. I hate being in the middle of my daughter and her father. But to me, if he can do all of this to me while pregnant with her. Why does he think he can be in the room when she is born? I want my support system. No someone who tears me down. I don't have the heart to keep all the information away from him but at the same time, I mentally cannot do this. He drives me into a depression the way he talks to me. I don't know what to do.