Stupid Husband

We talked about it new years <a href="">eve</a>. Maybe we should try again for a kid. I don't really want one yet, but I agreed. However I said not until the summer, because I want to go on vacation somewhere nice and have fun. Well, I thought he agreed, until it came time for the deed. He "forgot" to pull out. Yeah right, he has been doing it for years! I figured, well its a holiday, so I didn't get mad. Then last night, I was pulling away when I knew he was close. Well, he pulled like he was going to, but changed his mind last minute.

So I confronted him, and he comes up with well I want it to be born this year, and we agreed. Then he called me moody, and went to sleep. I didn't talk to him this morning. He has been really sneaky about it since my last period, but we hadn't talked about it until a couple of nights ago. He knows that I really enjoy the hotel bars, and we had already found the one.

I can't take plan b, because of an incident over a week ago. If I do get pregnant, I don't want to hurt the baby. I didn't took it then, because this stupid town does not carry the one I need it. And my husband convinced me that I don't need anymore chemicals in my body.

Anyhow, just ranting. I'll be happy if it happens, but I'll be happier if it waits. I mean a friend of ours didn't give birth till forty, and she is totally happy... I know it may not happen, but I'm still annoyed at him. That's not how I pictured conceiving our first child!


Hahaha. He isn't that bad! I was just annoyed at him because he got into his head that we are getting old. All of our friends are on their second or even third child. My way younger sister is about to pop, and we only have a dog to our name.

We agreed to get our life together first, we have for the most part. We still have student loans 😕 I just want to enjoy the freedom of being a couple a bit longer. Our friends are always in a hurry and don't seem to have much time for themselves anymore. I do know we need to have one soon so it will have some playmates with our friends and family though.

We haven't used condoms nor birth control for two years. We wanted my body to regulate. It has worked mostly, we got pregnant the first year. We were excited, but it ended being a blighted ovum and I miscarried. All last year I was recovering, and in no hurry to try again. My hubs can be an ass, yeah.. But he was very supportive. He is the reason I didn't dwell in depression. He has waited since then to even mention it again. But I know he wants a kid, he is always being used as a punching bag or a pony for our friends kids. I think it hit him hard when he realized my sister is almost due, and tried to scheme on his own.

I'm mad at him yeah, but I know why he did it. He may also just heard the part of yeah let's try this year, we were celebrating after all.

We are not the best of people, but there are worse out there birthing kids too. We would at least love and cherish the kid, even though a surprise.