how royally have a screwed up!?

Question

Ok so this may just be a giant rant but my husband has never put our baby to bed and has never woken up with her at night.. She's 8 months old and is EBF (she be solids too). I mean, have I screwed myself over? I love my husband dearly but I get so frustrated when he doesn't want to help with stuff during the day.. He has this whole parenting thing so freaking easy and I swear he knows he does! I work full time too. I don't feel extreme anger towards him bc I decided to breast feed but LO still isn't sleeping through the night and now I think she just comfort nurses and won't sleep until I let her nurse. I'm wanting to ask him to help take over some of the night time duty to help ween her from comfort nursing but I know he's going to be so lost and not know how to comfort her and I'll still end up waking up and fixing it so I might as well just get up from the get go...😩 Whatbin the world am I going to do..?  Not how I expected this all to go.

Answer

Have you been honest with your expectations from him and have you communicated it with him? I tell my husband what's expected and then walk him through how to do things for our baby. He doesn't always get it on the first try and sometimes wants to hand it back to me to take care but I refuse and continue to give him tips and instructions. Now that he's done a few things; changing diapers, putting her to bed and even as simple as playing and keeping her occupied successfully, he gets these tasks often and he does them confidently. You're not screwed but just need to let go of the reigns a little and encourage him to step up and be a father! Good luck

Answer

My baby will be 8 months next week. I work and hubby is a SAHD. I do all the night wakings even though baby doesn't latch and I exclusively pump. I want to do it even though hubby is super willing b/c I feel I'm missing out on time with him during the day. After getting bronchiolitis at 5 months and needing hydration at night, he started waking every hour to feed (just 2oz each time) in the middle of the night. So last week, we started implementing the "Sleep Lady Shuffle," and it's starting to work. Baby falls asleep on his own at bedtime and for naps. I still give him one big night feeding (usually around 6oz) in the middle of the night (he actually just caught a cold) but he otherwise sleeps from 8pm (sometimes earlier) to 6:30am (sometimes later).

Answer

I had that bad... don't always just think they will do it wrong and you will do it yourself. That will keep it that you do. And honestly sometimes my husband does not do things the exact way that I would and I've learned that it is ok. Daddy's show babies that there is a world beyond mommy. Even my baby prefers him sometimes. As long as it gets done and the baby is ok and he tried.. it's all good. You may wake up to help him at first but he will learn and then you won't have to. I used to feel the same way before I finally accepted my husband as being fully capable.

Actually, I was super anxious switching to working overnight to be with my daughter all day. She is EBF too and surprisingly, she sleeps better with him! She only wakes up once and sometimes not at all. She takes a bottle and goes back to sleep. I bottle feed her and pump if I am home and she still only wakes once. The nights I did it my way she comfort fed the nights I was home. So daddy's way was better. The bottle may help your LO as well.

Answer

I understand! My breastfed 8 month old is waking up atleast twice a night at the moment (since the start of leap 6) she woke up every half an hour last night actually.. my partner has never put her to sleep or gotten up during the night either or put her to sleep, he has no boobs so he's pretty much useless to her during those times. On weekends he gets up with our daughter and lets me sleep in tho so I get a little break. It's hard now but it won't be forever! Baby's just need their mummy's 😊 it will get easier eventually. Congratulations on 8 months of breastfeeding to!

Answer

I had the same problem. We now split the night in half. He covers until 3 unless he cannot get our son back to sleep. And I cover after 3. I also stopped nursing before bed/ in the night unless nothing else works and suddenly he is basically sleeping through the night.

how royally have a screwed up!?

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