A bad person but a good boyfriend? PLEASE HELP

Question

I'm dating a bad guy. I don't know how else to put it. He's mean to people, doesn't trust anyone, and supports Trump fully. He makes jokes about rape and the holocaust and is slightly racist. The worst part is that he won't listen. He can't change. I've tried explaining, I've tried pleading, but I can't change him. It's like a part of him. We barely agree with anything politically and regarding social matters. He's so stubborn! I can't change him and I've given up. Please don't tell me to "leave his ass" or whatever. I really love him. We have a ton of common interests and have been dating for a year. He's really sweet to me and always makes me feel special. He's loyal and honest- but only to me. I'm mixed up and I don't know what to do. Dumping him is not an option, but what else is there? UGH. Please help!!!!

Answer

If you love him and he's so perfect then why are you begging and pleading for him to change?

Answer

He's an asshole but you don't want to leave him? What are you asking us ? Lol because I damn sure wouldn't be with anyone who's a complete jerk to everyone but myself and makes jokes about rape and genocide. You want to stay with an asshole don't complain about how hes an asshole.. Especially if he won't change. You'll be the next Melania Sorry 😐

Answer

There is only two options here and you've already said leaving is out of the question so all you can do is stay and put up with it, perhaps maybe just ask him not to discuss those things with you, or bring them up when you're around.

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He's probably really manipulative and that's why he seems perfect to you but you also might be seeing through it all with him being a bad person. I say leave even though you don't want to hear that.

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A person who is mean to the world, but nice to you, is not a nice person :)

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Honestly, I wouldn't be with a guy who is not respectful to others. Loving and respecting me is not enough for me.

If you don't want to leave him, than just be blind sided of what he is like to others. That's the only way to deal with it.

Answer

You have to figure out yourself and your beliefs and values. Ask yourself if you would want your future children to grow up like him. Make a pros and cons list. Ask your family what they think of him. Does he get along with your friends? Would you be friends with someone like this? Would you want your father to be like him? Ask your friends what they think of him. Ask yourself if he fits into your life and lifestyle. Are political beliefs important to you or is it lower down on your list? Make a list of must haves and deal breakers without thinking of him specifically. Find out where he falls on that list. Good luck!

Answer

Speaking from experience, one day the shiny newness will wear off of the relationship, and you'll be one of the people he's mean to. It's a horrible feeling.

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I mean Im not saying break up with him, because there's people who are completely opposites who work. But typically later on those things will just eat at you more. Especially if you ever have kids, or need to make big decisons. What if you were in a situation where someone close to you was raped and he was being totally insenstive? I mean if you can accept him for who he is than it's whatever. But if it's already something you want to change it'll probably get worse in time. I really liked this one guy my sophomore year, but he played with a gay guys emotions for fun, and I broke up with him because I wondered what would happen if we stayed together and had a LGBT child. Would he ever truly love them? If you're thinking long term you have to consider a lot of things. Best of luck.

Answer

guys have their on beliefs on things and i just know they you cant change a guy or how he acts. if he acts "changed" it probably isnt real or genuine. im not telling you to "dump his ass" but if you dont agree with most of the things he does maybe you should find a man where you have more stuff in common with. but he sounds like a good guy that treats you well.

A bad person but a good boyfriend? PLEASE HELP

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