Has anyone here ever had an abortion?

Question

I had one at 16. I'm now 19 and my baby is 2 months old. In some way I thought having a baby would make up for the abortion or make me feel better about it. It didn't. I LOVE my baby soooo much, and she is so special and amazing in her own way. I feel guilty because I know I almost made the pregnancy and her a replacement for the one when I was 16. And I don't want her to be a replacement. I used to think if I got pregnant again it'd be the same soul coming back but I don't know if I believe that anymore. I know that I would not have been able to handle motherhood very well at 16, but I know I would've loved that baby just as much as the one I have now. 
It just sucks because I still feel the emptiness and the hurt the abortion caused. And this is not supposed to be a debate, I still am pro-choice, im grateful I had the right to choose even if I regret my choice. 
Anyway I feel like I can't talk to anyone about it. The father of the baby when I was younger will never speak to me again and hasn't since it happened. He had a girlfriend, his now wife, and she was also pregnant at the time and kept it. Their child is 2 years old now, and ours would've been 2 next month. Don't think she ever knew about me. 
So I feel extremely alone. The father of my baby now is a great dad, we are in love and living together and it's all great. I just don't want to burden him with talking about this. 
Most of the time I don't think about it but sometimes it just hits me. I guess this was more of a rant than anything. I just wonder if it'll ever go away. I thought having a baby would make it go away and I was wrong.

Answer

It sounds like you need to mourn your first pregnancy and process that loss. I am sorry you're going through this. I imagine that was a hard choice to make but I am sure it was the right choice for the time. Perhaps it would be good to speak with a counselor about this so that he or she can help you process and move on. Good luck.

Answer

I think you're feeling guilty because you love your babe so much that you lost another version of that. But don't feel this way everyone makes mistakes

Answer

I chose to have an abortion about 5 years ago. My LO is almost two months. I completely understand how you are feeling. We weren't in a place where a child made sense then, emotionally or financially.  In addition, I have pcos so wasn't aware I was pg and was really not taking care of myself or baby. There are moments that I regret my choice, and I wonder what that little girl would have been like in comparison to the love we have now. I don't think any two children are the same, so it hurts that she may have been more like her dad as this baby is soooo much like me, but we will never know. It was the right choice, I still know that. But it hurts in a very different way that is hard to understand. I hope you can work through it. If you are having a hard time, I agree, maybe talking to a professional might help. No harm in admitting that anyone needs help from time to time.

Answer

I think the only way to deal with grief is to talk to someone about it. Maybe set up an appointment with a couselor?

Has anyone here ever had an abortion?

Let's Glow!

The Top Baby Tracker App: Embrace New Beginnings with Tender Care

The Top Fertility Tracker App: Your Path to Achieving Pregnancy

The Top Pregnancy App: Nurturing Your Journey to Motherhood

The Top Period Tracker for Empowering Your Menstrual Health Journey