D&E at 21 weeks

Today they inserted laminaria into my cervix and to start the dilation. We found out 3 weeks ago about our baby's fetal anomaly. Today we also learned that I am a carrier for spinal muscular atrophy. My husband is being tested now to see if he is as well which will go a long way in figuring out what went wrong. 
We wanted this baby so much and we have to say goodbye. It was my first pregnancy and in less than 12 hours it will be over. I won't be a mother, my husband won't be a father and we will have to test and wait to try again. They next time we try there will be genetic counselors involved and screening and I may be high risk. This is all so strange and heartbreaking. How many of us ever thought we would be here?