when I give him a BJ

So everytime I give my boyfriend a BJ, he always gets a pillow and puts it on his chest. I can't see what his face expressions are and he doesn't moan or say anything... 
I told him countless times I don't like it, and it makes me feel like I'm not doing a joke job at it? But whenever we get done, he won't tell me if he liked it or not?.. I ask, and when I do, he always said it felt great and smiles... I don't understand?.. 
Also recently I just stopped giving him blow jobs/sex, because I am always tired of being the person who initiates when we have sex, like I always always start it.. Touching him, or starts undressing first, or puts his hand down my pants. I'd just wish he started it once in awhile, so I don't feel like I'm being pushy.. Sometimes he won't let me touch him, or he won't want to be in the mood ... So basically I'm giving it back to him is what I mean. Because I just hate being rejected so many dang times or him not making me feel good, again I talked to him countless times about it but it seems he just won't put in the effort.