I'm terrified. Terrified to try again. With PCOS, getting pregnant was difficult. When I finally did get pregnant, my baby didn't develop a heartbeat. Or it stopped at 7.5 weeks old, for reasons I may never know. I just had my emergency D&C on Monday 1/9/17. I feel like my heart was torn apart. My hubby has been with me every step of the way. He had been so supportive. He is optimistic that our next pregnancy will be better,...but I'm not. I'm terrified. I'm afraid. Yes, I know, women miscarry and go on to have healthy babies. But what if that isn't me? Honestly, I don't think I can handle another loss. The only way I can guarantee that is by not trying. Hubby wants to be a dad, but I'm afraid I can't give him what he wants. I feel like I'm such a failure. I don't even know when I'm ready to be intimate again. All I can think of is the baby that I lost and what could have been. At least in my dreams, I can control the outcomes. I'm trying to be positive, but I just can't be. I'm terrified.