Lost for who knows what.

Hi. Does anyone ever get to the point where they feel like there is nothing more to strive for. I have been diagnosed with depression. With anxiety as well. Grant it I have 2 loving kids but I feel like I have failed them to no end. I rely on their child support to take care of them bc I can't work due to my depression I get mad too easily. I honestly think that I may be bipolar but I'm scared to death to go get tested for it. Due to all the meds that I'm on I feel like a flipping druggie. Please no negative comments. It's like I know i have to do things but I have no care in the world to do it. I'm just at a lost for words to say. Sometimes I just want to run and hide and never look back.