Afraid to test 😳

Shari
My husband and I have been TTC since June 2015. He bought a crib and assembled it sometime November 2015 assuming it would be any month we would be expecting. We later found out October 2016 (Dr.'s really won't do anything until you've been trying for at least a year) both my tubes were blocked and had laparoscopic surgery which they could only unblock 1 tube. All the while I was doing OPKs and pregnancy tests up until we discovered my tubes were blocked therefore I was mentally and emotionally drained. 
I'm ok to take OPKs but not pregnancy tests. I'm at the point now in my cycle I should and my husband keeps asking me to but I'm afraid of disappointment. I feel better off with the unknown and I'm patient but I'm scared to test. I would rather be one of those women who didn't know they were pregnant and just be surprised!
Am I alone in feeling this way?