I’m a week late.

Reading that could probably make someone, somewhere, really happy. But for me … it stings. I took a test today, and like the last 2-5 months, it was negative.

Normally, it wouldn’t bother me. Well, it would, if I hadn’t already been disappointed time and time again. Tonight’s test bothered me because my husband was actually involved. He’d pointed out to me that my period was late and that maybe we finally had it. Our future.

But alas, i’m late because of my stress. I’ve been overly emotional about everything, I’ve been gaining weight and i’m just frustrated and upset about all of the things. And I explained this to him, that sometimes, my period won’t show up because of my extreme stress levels.

We did the test, and though I was ready to see that one line, that one horrible dark pink line.

He was not.

I think that’s what broke me. I saw his face and I remember him this morning. Asking about taking a test because he thought this might be our chance. He was so excited. And it changed … like that. The bright exciting look in his eyes, just vanished.

This trial and error … its gonna be hard. Not just on me, I realize, but on my devoted partner.