I may have biggER thighs now, an ugly saggy pouch and a bunch of stretch marks everywhere on my body. I'll probably never feel comfortable in a baithing suit again or wear crop tops anytime soon or even shorts because of how big my thighs have gotten. I lose so much sleep making sure you're getting enough sleep and picking you up as soon as you cry in the middle of the night. I pick you up, kiss you and hug you and whisper 'it's okay mommys here' because I want you to know that I am here just for you and your needs no matter what hour it may be and no matter how old you may get. I may miss some meals making sure you finish yours or stepping out to another room to nurse you because you're hungry and won't settle down until you nurse. I will get judged because of  my age (19) and I'll get the 'oh wow you're young' remarks but deep down my age doesn't matter because it doesn't mean I love you more or less and it sure doesn't mean I'm not capable of caring for you. I will get a lot of 'advice' on how to care for you but really I'll always follow my gut because I know what's best for you. I may have cried some days the first couple of weeks of your life but just because I was so clue less and wanted to make sure I was doing everything right with you. I still cry sometimes and get frustrated but it's only because I want you to stop crying and it pains me to see that nothing I do helps. I'm so exhausted from carrying you all the time, especially my right shoulder, I swear it's out of place or something by now... but as long as you're comfy and that's the only way you will sleep, I'm okay. I act strong for you and rock you so closely and tight until you're counting little sheep, then I lay you down and mommy fiiiiiiinally gets a little break. I literally take a deep breath because sometimes youre just a hand full! I wouldn't have it any other way, I can't imagine my life with out you.