Adoption. Should you look for your birth parent(s) or not?

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You of course have every right to but I wouldn't. My parents are the people that raised me and taught be about life...that's all that should matter

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That's up to you.... but I pray everyday my son decides to call me. He knows how to find me when or if he's ready.

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I understand the desire, but I have seen so few good outcomes that I think it's in general a bad idea. The people, in general, who want to meet their birth parents are usually trying to fill a void in their lives. Whether it's abandonment issues or a bad relationship with their adoptive parents, most of the time the children build birth parents up in their minds and its a let down when they do finaly meet. Best of luck to anyone trying to make the decision!

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I wasn't adopted legally, but I wish I had been. My biological parents were way too young, and interested in doing their own business, including hard drugs and serious alcohol consumption to care about what happened to me. My mother went to jail when I was 10 months old for covering for her friends because she would get less time as a minor than caring about what would happen to me when that happened.

There are some very nice stories, but theres a reason adopted kids are no longer with their biological parents, and most of the time either the parent still doesn't want to have anything to do with them, or is still into the bad behaviors they were when their child was put up for adoption. I'm not knocking anyone who puts their child up for adoption, I think it is a very brave thing to do, and it cannot be easy, and it is usually the best situation for the child. If your adopted parents loved you, why do you feel the need to find your "real" parents. You've found them.

The people who care for you, sacrifice for you, and take care of you ARE your real parents. I am so very grateful for mine, and I wish I had never had to know my biologicals. Thankfully I am old enough that I am able to cut them out of my life completely, so my kids will never have to know anything about the situation.

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I don't think it's a good idea having been through this myself ... I think most adoptive children have an idea of what this person will be like they think the parent will be sincere and have this perfect picture and have had it for years ... reality isn't the same as imagination and things generally don't tend to work ... my mother denies everything she did wrong and won't appcept that she was guilty and she was far from what I imagined I tried but things just didn't work and they won't untill she appcepts what she did wrong and an apology would be nice never had one of those either :/ it's just what happens about 8/10 in every adoption meeting birth parent don't carry on contact ... 2 out of 10 do carry on contact and those are usually parents forced into adoption at a young age by parents or for religious family reasons x

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This is a tough question, as every adoption is different. I am adopted and did find my birth mother, but not until the age of 20. We have a wonderful relationship and even though we are many states away from each other, we plan trips to visit at least twice a year, sometimes more. She is beyond thankful I found her, and I was able to let her know that I was/am beyond thankful that she did put me up for adoption. Which was something she struggled with not knowing all that time. I grew up always knowing that I was adopted and never doubting that my parents (adoptive parents) were my just as much my parents as anyone else's! I think that meeting her when I did as an adult was vital for us to have the wonderful relationship that we have. I think doing it younger would have complicated things. My parents were very supportive in me finding and meeting my birth mom, then even flew with me to meet her the first time. I think that was a huge part in it all being so successful! I know not everyone has the same experience in finding their birth parents, my sister being one of them.  But I'm happy to answer and question you might have about my story or my sisters story! Good luck to you and whatever you decide!

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It depends....
I think if you want to, then you have every right to.
However, don't get your hopes up on them wanting to be found. 
When you find them, their reactions may not be as welcoming as you like. Unfortunately, they gave you up for adoption for a reason, and that can be a very painful experience for them.

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I was adopted by relatives at 8 months old. My parents were all over the place, had to many kids for their age..and one day, just left me with a babysitter. Never came back. I know of my birth parents. Id never speak to them. Thats my choice though. I know my birth dad has regrets and had tried to contact me. But im 28 years old..i have no connection to him.my parents are the people who raised me..who tucked me in, taught me everything.  Every situation is different. You have to do what makes you comfortable. And you also have to ask yourself what you can gain from meeting them. Closure? Do you want a relationship? Just to ask questions? Its a lot to think about.

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I think it varies. Especially now with open adoptions. If someone chooses a closed adoption it was probably for a reason. Maybe they don't want to be found. But you do hear those good stories of families finding each other.

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So...I'm kind of going through this now. My grandparents raised me and even though I know my mom I've never met my dad and was also rokd he never knew about me. I would like to at least know who he is and get a family health record. If he wants to get to know me that would be great, but if not, there's really no love lost. I've done this long with out him. Why would I needs him now??

Adoption. Should you look for your birth parent(s) or not?

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