Am i just being stupid? or paranoid?

Question

I don't really know how to put this into words without sounding stupid. 
But my boyfriend works a lot, he leaves the house at 5 doesn't get back till 7. 
I miss him a lot while he's at work. I only see him a few hours a day! I look forward to Friday so much. 🙈 
But when he comes home I ask him things like, "can you lay with me for abit" or "can you stay up here for abit" just because I don't see him for very often and I like to talk to him, have a conversation. But all he says is. "Babe, I wanna go downstairs" " let me go have smoke" " I haven't had a shower, let me do this, let me do that" 
Am I asking to much of him? Is he like just to tired? But the way I see it is he's quick enough to go have a smoke but he can't sit with his Mrs. 
I'm just asking for some advice in how to deal with it? What should I do? Is it him just being tired? Or is he going off me? 😣 
Or am I just being stupid. Cus I think I am. 🙄😑

Answer

My husband works about 14 hours a day and instead of me asking him to do things I just follow him around from the time he gets home until he passes out  (normally at 8 o'clock smh) like a puppy haha. When he showers I shower, we eat together, we sit on the porch together, we watch his shows, and then he normally falls asleep, wakes up, repeat.

Answer

Go with him for his smoke. Take a shower with him, wash his back, wash his hair for him. Go downstairs with him. That gets you some close time and some talk time and he can do what he needs.

Answer

You're not stupid for the way you feel. Sounds like he works a lot and is gone most of the time. You miss him, that's logical, not stupid. It's also logical that this poker guy is tired as hell if those are his work hours five days a week. Not just physically tired but mentally tired. When I'm like that, I need some alone time just to setttle and get my mind right. I'd equate that to his going to have a smoke.

I think you should let him know you really need to sit down and talk to him the next time he has a day off. Let him know your concerns. Be honest with him about feeling that he may be changing the way he feels about you because you get so little alone time. Let him know how much you miss him. Maybe you guys can come up with a solution. Don't be mad when you have this convo. Only show the love.

Answer

Leaving the house at 5am not getting home until 7 at night. That's a long day. Do you work? When he comes home do you just start talking? Do you cook? When he Sit down do you try to rub his shoulders or back? I'm sure you can see on his face if his day has been stressful or not. Not saying he shouldn't have to spend time with you but after a long day let him smoke let him get in the door good before you start with your questions and demanding his attention. And no I'm not saying your needs don't matter just look at him and see what mood he is 1st before you take whatever energy he has left.

Answer

I ageee with all your comments, when he comes home I'll give him his space. Let him do what he wants for abit them I'll just cuddle him on the sofa. 
Your comments have really helped. I'm gunna try and talk to him later when he showers I'll wash him, his hair. That I've done before. 
I do work but only a couple shifts a weeks as I nanny my niece and nephew from 7am to 3pm to let my sister work. We all live in a house together.  So we all work to bring in the money. He works with my sisters husband. So my sisters in the same boat as me but they been together. for 10 years. 
Thankyou for your help laidies. I'll give him his space and time. Then I'll talk to him about it. 
Reading your comments makes me think I am on his case when he walks in the door. 
Thankyou for the advice 💕

Answer

What you need to do is tell him that you've been feeling neglected and disconnected from him and in order to feel better about it, you need for him to give you quality time with him. It can be after he does what he needs to do, but he needs to make that time for you. He probably just needs "me time" after he gets home from a long day, but he needs to be able to balance that with also fulfilling the need for quality time with you.

Am i just being stupid? or paranoid?

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