Not sure what to do ...
Warning this is long ! Okay so I am 38 weeks pregnant and oddly at the most horny part of this pregnancy . I know it's usually earlier on and by now you don't wanna do anything , but now it's like all I want to do ! So in the past couple weeks I would try to initiate things , but my boyfriend would keep rejecting it and/or would never try anything back so I was getting really upset . He also had started mentioning and doing questionable things like while we would have sex he started saying how he wanted us to find another girl , not for him to do anything with , but to watch me have fun with (I'm bisexual , but have never tried or asked for anything like that because as far as I knew before he didn't want me to and considered it cheating if I did something with a girl which is totally understandable and I'm fine with) which I thought was a little off but okay . And then I went to go on my fb on his phone because mine was dead and we aren't secretive about our phones at all , we can use each other's whenever , but I found he had opened some protitutes page on backpage and it was left up with safari just showing a naked (but covered) picture of this girl on the tab . So I freaked out and asked wtf it was and it was his coworkers daughter and his coworker heard she was on there and wanted to know for sure . THAT IS TRUE , I know the coworker and said daughter so that was not a lie , BUT what I don't understand is why the coworker really couldn't just look himself if he was so curious (I know it's your daughter but that's your business) and I was pissed because why ask my boyfriend to look for you ? And why did my boyfriend feel it was okay to do so and then leave it up ? (Not that I'd be happy if he hadn't and I found out but still) . So now I was overthinking that he doesn't want me and he's not attracted to me anymore because he didn't want to do anything with me around that time .
So we talk about this and come to the conclusion that he's scared where I'm so far along at this point (~36w) and he didn't want to end up inducing me or making our son come too early . (He actually got really emotional and said "I just don't want him to be wrong" and it was a good talk to know how he was feeling because he had a rough childhood and he does just want the best for our son) .
So this is fine and things go good again for a few days . Now fast forward to a couple days ago , we're driving home and I'm thinking of what we can do when we get there *winkwink* and so I start reaching over to his pants . I end up giving him head on the road and instead of going home we decide to go park somewhere secrete . So I'm all excited thinking we're gonna break in the new car and we haven't done anything spontaneous like this in so long and I was really ready to go . What actually ends up happening is I do all this for him and he doesn't do a thing for me and just finishes himself really quick before we go home (I had stopped thinking we were gonna have sex , but then he just finished quickly) . So we go home and I'm already so disappointed but I figure well he must be planning to return the favour at home , I am pregnant so it would've been a little more complicated in the car anyways . We get home . Nothing happens . He straight up puts on a show and 5 mins later says he's going to bed . I'm pissed . I roll over and don't even say goodnight and he tries to ask what's wrong but I won't even talk to him . I end up sneaking off to sleep on the couch after he falls asleep (which is like 2 seconds later which makes me feel even more that he doesn't care) .
So he ends up realizing why I was upset , and I'm thinking okay the next night he's gonna make it up to me . Again , nothing happens and we're supposed to have a night in but instead end up out relatively late again at his buddies place , so when we get back he just goes to bed again and I'm left miserable and frustrated . The next night we do come home at a decent time and what does he do ? Puts on a show and plays Pokemon for a half hour maybe a bit longer and the whole time I'm trying to cuddle with him hoping he'll start something , but no . When he's done we put the laptop away and he goes to go to bed again . At this point I am so infuriated I'm just ready to cry myself to sleep . Again . He asks what's wrong and I won't talk to him . He figures it out (not that hard) and then gets mad at me because he has to work and he needs his sleep and blahblahblah . Yes I realize those things , but you sat on your phone for a half hour ! We had plenty of time ! So now it's been days again and he said last night that tonight (it's Friday) when we get home we'll do something and I just told him to go fuck himself cause he's just gonna leave anyways because he doesn't want me and I'm never having sex with him again (I was angry) .
I just honestly don't know what to do at this point . I feel so ugly and disgusting when I should feel great about bringing our little man into the world . I used to feel so much better about it and before he always made me feel beautiful even on off days . I'm just so miserable now and I'm always upset and he just seems to be getting more and more sick of me . I don't know if I'm just overreacting and taking it too personal because of the hormones or if I'm justified to be so upset about it . Just kinda wanted someone else's opinion on it because it's hard to tell when I'm being rational sometimes now , but I seriously am starting to feel like he isn't attracted to me at all anymore and wants nothing to do with me and is just waiting for our son to get here . I've explained to him that he can't possible do anything to hurt the baby through sex and if it did induce labour it's because it was meant to happen and not because of anything anyone did wrong and that sex can actually make labour better for me . Once he learned it could help me he seemed to not worry at all anymore because he hadn't known that . At first it was definitely concern for the baby but now it's like he just wants nothing to do with me . I've tried talking to him and he denies everything and says he loves me very much , but I just don't know what to think anymore .
Sorry for this being so long ! Just want some opinions 😫 .
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