It started when I had my Implanon placed after my new love interest had asked me to go on a date. (I was just being extra safe, if things did end up getting serious later on) so I went into my doctors office, got checked for STDS, etc.. we had been going out for 3 months when we had sex. I didn't have periods after having the implant placed in my arm. We had sex multiple times that month, but only once unprotected. The next few months I felt extremely weird. I put it off as hormones from my new birth control method. A few more months go by and I start to feel better, but I'm looking abnormally round. I thought I was just bloated, so I started cutting down on sodium. I didn't get any bigger. I just looked like I had a big meal. Then it struck me, "could I be pregnant?" I took a pregnancy test, negative. Oh, good. I continue going to my college classes and working at Hooters, where I've worked for the past 2 years. My boss pulled me to the side, "you've been gaining a lot of weight recently. I don't want to have to do this, but until that belly goes away I'm going to have to fire you." I was offended, and beyond livid. Needless to say, I won't be working there anymore. What's wrong with me? About a week goes by and I feel this movement. My immediate though was WTF. I call the on call nurse and she says it sounds like gas bubbles. Okay, makes sense. A few months go by, my family and friends have told me that I should start exercising, and that I've gained a lot of weight recently. Okay, offensive. Probably about 6 months in (we don't really know how long I was pregnant) my boyfriend and I broke up. He said I had "become uninterested" because my sex drive totally went down the toilet. I was upset. I went home and cried for hours and hours. Then I had a cramp. Hm, period? I haven't had one for months. Maybe. I go to sleep and a really bad cramp wakes me up. They keep coming. I'm screaming. I get up and I walk to my car before the next one hits. My first thought was, "appendicitis?" I went to the ER and by that time they cramps were back to back. I couldn't get out of the car. I forgot my phone, so I just start hysterically honking and honking until someone sees me. The nurses open the door and then... "POP" I peed myself. Wait, why did I just pee myself? The doctors look at me and ask? "How far along are you?" What do you mean???? I'm not pregnant. They look under my night gown and said "there's no moving her, the baby is coming now." WHAT THE FUCK DID SHE JUST SAY? "You're crowning, I need you to push." I'm hella confused, so I follow her directions and push. "Hurry up and get Dr. out here."