Is it selfish to separate?

Question

We have been together for almost 5 years. Neither of us is happy with our relationship these past 2 years and nothing we tried could fix it. We want to separate even though we love each other. But is is selfish? Our son deserves to grow up with two parents.

Answer

I think it's selfish to stay together when you're unhappy just because you have children.

Answer

My sons father and I separated three years ago when our son was 2. It was the absolute best decision i could have ever made. His father was not on board at the time with the split but now will definitely agree. We have both since found significant others that truly make us happy and we both live great lives. Our son is on a very consistent schedule and has so many people in his life that love him. Obviously separation or divorce is not the ultimate goal in a relationship. I definitely think a couple should put effort in to try to see if it can work(we probably tried too long.) In the end being unhappy does nothing to benefit your child. We are much better parents now that we both enjoy our lives!!

Answer

"Staying together for the kids" is a very outdated concept. Kids can sense when their parents are unhappy. Rather their parents be happy separately than unhappy together.

Answer

My parents hate each other so much. Granted my father cheated on my mother when I was young but they stayed together for us kids. I personally wished they would've split so both of them could've had a chance at happiness. My mom still holds the adultery against my dad and makes him to things constantly at home plus work nights while she does nothing. Now that I'm older and married creating my own family, I see how miserable my dad is. It's hard to watch 😕 they would've been much better off seperated.

Answer

Just because your separated doesn't mean your son will grow up without two parents. If you're not happy he will know I promise. What you need to do is be responsible and respectful with your ex and show your son that even though you're not together you can still get along and be around each other for his sake. I think Hillary Duff and her ex are a great example of how it should be when u split with a child.

Answer

Children grow up to become adults, and when they are they will be mych happier to know that you spent the last 13 or so years happy and seperated rather than miserable together just for his sake.... if i found out my parents stayed together just for me and were unhappy i would feel so bad... like its my fault .... i would be much happier to know my parents were split up and happy. Its tough at first but they understand even as children. I started dating my SO when his girl was 5.... she is now 12 and completely understands and livef through it all seamlessly.

Answer

No. If you've been to councelling and have tried to fix the relationship, then I don't think it's worth staying.

Answer

The relationship your child sees will shape what he expects from relationships later on in life. Do you want to model a healthy relationship or one where neither party are happy? It's not selfish to separate. Your child will still have you both and it'll be a better situation because you guys will be happy and in better spirit.

Answer

Your son deserves to grow up with parents who are happy. Children aren't oblivious to the tension that unhappy parents exude.

Is it selfish to separate?

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