I wanted nothing more than to breastfeed. I actually couldn't wait to breastfeed and didn't see it any other way. When my son was born we were having a terrible time getting him to latch. He would latch and then he wouldn't and we knew he wasn't getting enough to eat so we had to supplement. Come to find out he had a tongue tie which was clipped the next day but in the meantime we kept trying and trying and eventually he damaged my nipples to the point where they didn't want me to continue until I was healed. I pumped to get my supply up and store milk to feed him bottles of breastmilk. They healed and I got the courage to try again and it was great then something happened. I was experiencing so much pain and couldn't bare latching him anymore. In the beginning I met with 4 different lactation consultants in the hospital and even paid over 200 dollars to have someone come to my house. I stopped again and started to pump. Pumping is so hard. Harder than I thought it would be. We are supplementing at this point in case I can't continue to pump. I'm having so much trouble coming to terms with this. I know breastfed and formula babies thrive......but is my formula baby going to have to face serious illnesses later in life? Am I really harming him? I haven't stopped pumping and giving him breastmilk but what if I do? I'm a mess 😔