making my toddler son, who was falling asleep on himself at the dinner table after a long day wash off with a wash cloth and brush his teeth before bed was a form of child abuse and torture. She said I was cruel to make a sleepy child stay awake just to change and clean up. She argues that I should have just let him go to bed in his outside play clothes without washing up or brushing his teeth. She also said that my actions are abusive and controlling as a parent.( she feels you shouldn't make kids to brush their teeth if they don't want to)  Was I wrong? 

Update: 

This was bedtime. Not just a nap.

In my house I try to teach my children that hygiene, manners and respect are important and must be upheld always. These are lessons I want them to carry through life. I was not trying to be controlling. My son may only be 2.5 but he knows how to brush his own teeth, brush his hair and take a wash cloth and wipe himself down.( While supervised and actually being cleaned of course). I am more concerned with instilling the good hygiene habits and routine before bed. Making him feel like he's doing it himself so that he learns. I did not hit him. I did not yell and I did not restrain him and force him to brush. I told him to clean up and waited several minutes while he fusssed before complying.