The older I become I realize who really has my back. And it's sad how sometimes even family never have your best interest. My mom I love her and all but I can count on my fingers how many times she's been there for me. It seems like she comes around if it's beneficial for her. She's always looking for stuff to point out and and never gives a compliment. And I see how she treats others better then me and my siblings. I honestly envy those that have those sweet and caring moms. I know she cares but in her own way and it's simply just not enough. she's constantly being negative and bringing up the past. My parents split when I was 12 I'll be 30 in march. I know what my dad did was wrong leaving us for another women and her raising us on her own. But she doesn't forgive him she hates him and is constantly trying to drag us down with her. She'll tell my brothers how worthless they are how they are exactly like my dad and never has a good compliment for them. I can see how it's affected them not only did they not have a father figure but I see how unsure of them selfs they are. There not confident and don't see there potential. She makes us feel like little kids again like we have to pick and choose between them both even now that we are adults. I remember being little and wanting my dad in my life bcs kids are kids regardless of there mistakes we love them both the same. It's ridiculous. I feel like my brothers who are both adults seem to struggle more then me and my sister they can't keep a job they don't have no confidence in themselves. They Have stumbled in there relationships. One of them got married really young to his firts girlfriend he was 18 years. They got married bcs she got pregnant. he stepped up to the plate like a man & took responsibility but I see how it's got him no where he's unhappy. There constantly fighting & he says he's only with her bcs of the kids. He doesn't want them to go threw what we did. It's sad Hes only 24. I wish I could help him but don't know what to tell him. He comes to me bcs he can't go to my mom and it makes me sad I know he's grown but everyone needs that support and love and she's never given it to us. And now that I'm a wife and mom I'm starting to resent her. All my life growing up she pretty much brain washed me into hating my dad for what he did all the way till I was about 18-19 is when I started to have a reationship with him. I had to forgive him I was turning into this miserable lonely girl. I hated that feeling and I don't understand why any mom would want there child to go threw life like that. And now that we are older and our dad is around she tries and say things that really bother me like one time she mentioned that he's always going out with his wife and kids and that he does with them what he never did with us. It hurts that she tries to hurt us. That's what hurts bcs we have forgaved our dad we are happy hes happy we love them both and want them both to be happy. But she's still there trying to drag us back down with her. We have tried talking to her but she's stubborn. She doesn't listen and acts childish & says we love him more after everything he did and she was the only one there for us. But she is going about it the wrong way. And now that my girls are old enough she tries to do the same with them my girls are 3&4 she'll ask them who do they love more. She says she's joking but my daughters are innocent and love them both it's so uncalled for. One time she told my oldest to not like her grandpa bcs he's ugly. It's childish and I'm sick of it. I just don't know what else to do. I wish she would just move on find someone and just let go of the past. Maybe that would help her. I feel like I can one day be like her and I don't want to ever hurt my family like that. But I seriously feel it's affecting me now that I'm a mom. I can't count on her when I need her the most. It just sucks. I'm overwhelmed being a mom is hard. I stay home I take care of my Girls 24/7 my husband works 10am-10 pm & works Saturday too so i get no help and hardly ever see him. By the time he comes home I'm getting ready for bed. Our marriage has been suffering and I feel alone. We've been going threw some  issues and I have no one to talk to. I would tell my dad but don't want him to get a bad idea about my husband. I just don't know what else to do I feel miserable & stuck and just don't want to turn into someone Iike her. I just wish she would be the mom I need. she's never been loving.  She never really offers to help with my girls I know she works and is tired too. But once in a while I think would be fine. And if she ever does babysit she wants something in return. she never calls to see how I am or the girls and it bothers me. I've been going threw a lot & with two toddlers and a three month old it gets overwhelming and lonely & ive needed her. But it is what it is im trying to stay strong & focus on the positive. Sorry for the long rant just had to get it all out.