Let me start off by saying: I'm 13, with two major disabilities (motor dyspraxia and sensoryintegration disorder). My mom had an extremely rough childhood, and I don't even know the half of it. I know that she was beaten and neglected and raped. I'm 100% sure she has PTSD. But she refuses to get help. When I was little I was extremely violent, hitting scratching and yelling constantly. I abused my older sister and I will never forgive myself for it. I don't know how to contain anger, but I've calmed down and I haven't hit anyone in over 5 years. My father was abusive and left us, and my sisters father died. 

I'm basically stuck between a rock and a hard place, my sister constantly yells at me for things I don't do and my mom is just off the hook. She'll guilt you, scream at the top of her lungs then act like it never happened, blame everything on you. My sister is the most selfish person I've ever met. She can yell at you but you can't yell back. She can be anxious but you can't. She'll brush off your problems, but if you brush hers off she'll scream at you. My mom constantly yells at my sister and vents to me, and my sister constantly yells at my mom and me and cents to me. I've been suicidal and IV EBEEN self harming and I just want out. My mom started hitting her chest violently and said that she was gonna force herself to have a heart attack yesterday if I didn't go to school. I have extreme anxiety problems relating to school. I don't know what to do. This isn't even the start of it. I need help