How to stay completely calm.

I had to walk away from my crying 3 month old last night. I have never had to do that. I am back to work..working 40 hours. And all the baby night work.

My son wakes up every two hours at night and I noticed it is when my hubby works nightshift.( hubs is on a rotating night and day shift which still doesn't make sense because my hubby doesnt so hardly any nighthelp with him. Hubby can sleep through anything)

Last night I felt awful and like such a bad mother because I had to leave him and walk away. How can I better keep my cool?. I count to ten . remind myself how lucky I am, and watch adorable video of him... but getting up to get a 2 oz bottle every two hours and then up for another 30 mins trying to get him to sleep...needless to say we are both exhausted. ( I almost called out today but I am here at work) That and it doesn't help that my babysitter apparently holds him for 80% of his naps and gives him a whole bottle to sleep. We had gotten him to where he sleeps with just a paci. Now its bottle or no sleep for this mama. And he sleeps at the babysitters with a tv on and dogs barking. Now I can barely get him to sleep without a tv I give in but then the light wakes him up😰

My body aches and my heart aches cause I just feel awful that I got frustrated last night.