So my brother is getting married in a few months. He has yet to buy a ring though because the ring he can afford isn't expensive enough for her. They have been together coming up on 2 years and have a 1 year old son together. My mother is very much an enabler for him as is her mother to her..they expect their parents to pay their bills so they can spend their checks on what they want to buy (just for the record he's 24 and she's 30). Obviously the two of them don't save a dime and since what he can afford isn't good enough my mother offered to pitch in (in enabling fashion). I find it a huge red flag that she won't accept a ring in his budget and that she feels she needs such an expensive ring because her sister's cost x amount and her friend's was this much and then her cousin's cost that much..to me it's irrelevant what amount someone else's ring cost. Mine isn't the biggest most expensive ring and my mother's was actually purchased for my father's ex girlfriend (he never proposed to her with it). I feel like it shouldn't matter what it looks like or cost and if she can't be happy with what he can provide now what will happen in the future when she wants a house or a new car or even a TV for that matter. If he has $50 and she won't settle for less than $100 then he will end up living the rest of their life trying unsuccessfully to please his wife or in terrible debt for trying to make it happen. I feel like I should express my concerns but I fear in doing so she will find out and then there will be a huge wedge in our family. Should I speak my mind and chance them not speaking to me or let it go and watch him be miserable trying to please her champagne wishes with their beer budget?

I should also mention that my mother informed me this morning that he called mom yesterday almost in tears over the fact that he can't afford the ring she "needs and wasn't sure about the wedding anymore and was questioning marrying her. I know they have a son together so of course they will always be in each others lives and he feels like if he doesn't marry her or asks if they can wait a little longer before they do she might take their son and move back home to her mother's in South Carolina. Obviously with them having a child together marriage was always assumed if living together worked out but it wasn't his decision, he never proposed. April 8th was important to her so she just came home the other day and said "we're gonna get married on the 8th of april".