Do y'all even care?

Autumn • Ashes
First off I don't give a shit about attention, but I do want your input. I have a life ahead of me that isn't working out which would have included going to college, getting married, reunite with my mom, leave home, adopt then have kids, and so on..... I'm trying so hard, but no matter what I do it has never paid off.. I'm STILL trying, it's been years, and nothing. I have moved so many places, I have no friends, I have been sexually used/assaulted, and my mother made me grab everything I can carry and walk out because I was too much stress even though I was just doing what I'm told... I don't care about how people see me, but even still I find myself ugly and fat even though I do weigh 87lbs as a 16 year old girl. Acne will always suck, but that is just apart of life.. My Depression, anxiety/panic, PTSD, OCD, (ect..) Won't go away because it runs in my family. Almost every time I see my therapist they always are upping my prescription, and I have even been recommended to go to a mental hospital. Look my point is I'm a suicidal freak that no one will ever give a shit about and will forget about me because no matter whatever I have been through with me they will always forget then leave.. I'm not you average person, nor do I want to be. I want people to listen to me. I want people to hear what I have to say, and if they will listen be reading the words I wright/type then I am ready to say goodnight for the last time. I know people are about me, and I love my dear Boyfriend William.. I know everything that will happen after I kill myself. I just.. I love him.. I need him to know how I feel, but I already told him how... He just doesn't get it.... I just need to have that relief of finally slipping into darkness..