It's currently 1:02 am.  I'm sitting here trying to rock my son to sleep for the second time. My son is almost 8 months old and still doesn't sleep through the night.  Since birth he has never been a napper and would only sleep short stretches at night.  With each passing month he would have random days where he would sleep 8-12 hours straight at night. Just when I would begin to think that I finally had it all figured out he would return back to his old ways.  I've tried everything.  Bathing him before bed.  Feeding him a good size bottle.  Rocking him to sleep.  Making sure he would nap at least once a day for me.  I even tried the "cry it out" method.  Despite all my efforts he still wakes at least once in the middle of the night.

Now when I hear parents go on about what a great sleeper they have, and how their baby has been sleeping throughout the night since they were a few months old I cringe with envy.  All I can think is "what am I doing wrong? Why won't my child just sleep for me?" I'm also thinking "can you please shut up about your perfect little sleeping angel? Because I'm over here with designer bags under my eyes because my child had me up every few hours." 

So often I find myself filled with anger and jealousy when I hear that another parent is succeeding at something that I am not.  But my attitude is all wrong.  I need to learn to be happy for these people.  That's awesome that they have a sleeping baby!  One day, prayerfully, my son will sleep through the night.  But for now I will let go of my parent envy.  I will be happy for others.  And I will soak up these special late night cuddle sessions...because believe it or not one day I'll miss them.