Sorry for the long post I need to rant... I'm anonymous because to be honest I'm rather embarrassed and ashamed by my husband right now....

When my husband and I planned a baby, we agreed that I would be a SAHM for at least one year. But a couple of months into my maternity leave, by husband started to become bitter and resentful. He tends to be a little bit lazy and was very jealous that he had to work full time while I was "on holiday" with our baby. He refused to do anything around the house, wouldn't even mow the lawns or take out garbage or wash a single dish. He deliberately made a mess for me to clean up after him. Wouldn't help with the baby at all. I couldn't even take a shower at night because if the baby woke up crying my husband would freak out.

So, we decided to switch roles. While I didn't mind swapping, I explained to my husband that I expected him to pull his weight around the house and with the baby if I'm going to be working full time. He agreed but hasn't followed through.

The first week was a disaster. I knew it would be but I wanted him to understand how hard some days are and how hard I actually do work. After the first week I started helping for the sake of my own sanity.

I now work 40 hours a week, with an hour commute each way. And the husband is not pulling his weight. I'm up all night with the baby. I cook and clean and still mow the lawn. I prepare every meal on top of pumping breastmilk. When my husband worked full time he would come home, eat the dinner I'd prepared and then sit in front of TV on his phone all night before falling asleep at 8pm because he was so tired. On weekends he literally did nothing because he needed a break. Now on my weekends he still does nothing because he needs a break from being at home all week. And I am broken. He does the bare minimum for our baby during the day. Doesn't follow any schedules because he doesn't like them. So I always come home to a hungry overtired cranky baby. I take out garbage in the morning and come home to find only 1 or 2 diapers in the bin because he's too lazy to change the baby. 2 diapers in 10 hours!

I get about 4 hours of broken sleep a night because our baby wakes up and my husband refuses to get up because he needs his sleep, just let the baby cry he says. I'm losing my mind and my husband just doesn't get it. Of course, he's enjoying his "holiday" too much now for us to go back when I told him I don't think this is working.

I'm a hard worker but the double standards that he has really bothers me. When he worked I was expected to do everything for the baby and around the house and now I work and he doesn't and I am still expected to do the same amount of work. I don't even know what to do anymore. I feel like my baby needs more time with me because my husband is too lazy to play or teach anything.

Thanks for listening I just really had to vent somewhere!