Snapchat girls?
Hi. I'm Danielle!
I hope I don't get much judgement from this but I'm just being honest with how I feel, I hope to have some kind of advice to make me feel better.
Right after my husband and I got engaged, I found out that he had added a bunch of porn star like proffesional girls on Snapchat, and hid it from me. When I found it and looked at their stories while he was sleeping, they were just all titties, vaginas, asses etc.
I have a horrible self esteem, and I'm always ALWAYS down for sex and sending hot pictures of myself even if I was at work. Plus, I was always home at that point. So the fact that he needed that really REALLY hurt me. I cried for weeks. I felt like so little and I felt like he didn't think I was attractive enough anymore ( I was also 3 months pregnant) one of the most haunting things he told me when I asked why he even had that was "I just wanted to see something different"
Now just to make things clear. My husband is an amazing man. He's sensitive, kind, a hard worker, a great father, and a great partner. Even this wasn't like him, he has never done anything like that before and he still hasn't and when he told me he just wanted to see something different, it was like immediate regret once the words left his lips and he saw the hurt spread across my face. He actually was crying with me because I was so upset.
It's litterally been 8 months. I forgave him but I should have felt better about it months and months ago, and I just don't. I don't know why. I still think about it and it still continues to hurt me.
Of course, I don't bring it up anymore, because he doesn't deserve that long of a punishment. But I can't shake the shitty feeling still. Any advice?
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