I'm due in 10 weeks and 2 days and honestly, I can't even do anything but cry about the position I'm in with my baby's dad. I'm 18 and we broke up when I was 8 weeks or so because he wanted to get back together with his ex. They ended up breaking up but he still wants her. He's even decided he doesn't want to be involved in the baby's life because he'd rather follow his ex wherever she goes in life instead of sticking around where I'm raising our son. 

I was in a serious relationship for a few months with someone older who already has a baby but we ended up breaking up because my baby's dad caused a lot of issues between us. I know I sound really stupid but it just hurts so bad. I'm so young and I'm prepared for my son financially as far as being able to provide for him and give him the best in life. But mentally I'm not ready. Everyday all I hear about is how I'm a failure for being a teen mom with no father figure for my child but he doesn't get any criticism for everything he did to me. 

And tonight I posted on my personal Instagram how I've been feeling lately as far as being judged for a position I didn't put myself into. I didn't ask him to cheat on me and leave me while I was pregnant. In fact, I was pathetic enough to beg him to stay with me because of how scary all of this is. 

Well, he texted me and he asked if I was okay. And I'm so stupid because I thought he was being genuine and actually cared. But nope. He just wanted to guilt trip me for sharing my feelings because it made him "look bad." 

I know I'll get comments like "you shouldn't have had sex." and whatnot and really. I don't care. Think what you want. It wasn't unprotected and honestly even if it was, mind your business. I'm not complaining about having my son. I'm in love with my little man and everything I do is for him. I wouldn't trade being pregnant for anything. That's not what I want. I just wish my situation wasn't so pathetic. Because all I do is cry and I'm tired of feeling helpless. 

Just had to rant lol.