How important is attraction?

Question

So, I'm completely in love with my boyfriend. He makes me so happy and treats me like a real princess and I can't get enough of him. I really think he is the type of guy I could end up marrying. The only issue is I'm not attracted to him AT ALL. He's much older than me, much shorter than me, and just not my type in general. I do not find anything about his appearance attractive except for maybe his style. We've had sex and it was amazing and I thought that would be the hardest part to overcome, but honestly it's being out in public and having people stare, it's when my family and friends ask to see pictures of him and just say "oh" or "hmm," it's when I get embarrassed to share pictures of us together on social media. Is this something that I will get used to with time? Or is it something worth breaking up over?

Answer

My opinion is if someone is a good hearted person that makes them beautiful. If someone is full of hate & just plain rude I automatically think there an ugly person. However I'll say this, I do think it's important to be attracted to your partners outwards appearance but I definitely think the inward appearance should shine through most of all. Because after all you do love that person for who they are as a person. Not for what they look like. Having good looks is honestly just a bonus in my relationship. I love my fiancé for who he truly is, I love his personality & his charming words & how he thinks. You shouldn't base love on looks hun. That's honestly not going to get you anywhere. If he treats you like gold then you should see his true beauty through how he treats you. As for everyone else having bad things to say about you 2 being together. Well honey, they ain't the one loving him so I don't think what they have to say is very relevant. & you should stand up for your relationship & let them know. But if you can't do that for him, then I do think he deserves someone who would.

Answer

There are plenty of people who end up being with people who were never initially their "type" physically. For example, I am whole heartedly attracted to white guys more than any other race.. I never liked dark skinned men. My fiancé is extremely dark skinned making him the opposite of what I "wanted." I fell in love with his personality, intelligence and his heart. What was on the outside didn't matter, because I fell in love with HIM not just what he looks like. Don't get me wrong, my fiancé is attractive lol! Any-who, looks fade when you're old && doesn't keep a relationship going. What I'm not understanding is how you said that you're in love with him, but you can't get past his looks. It seems like to me you're more focused on what other people think over your own happiness. Who am I to judge? I'm only on the outside looking in.

Answer

I personally believe a physical connection is just as important as a mental or emotional connection. I couldnt be with someone that i wasnt physically attracted to.

Answer

Oh. This is truly a difficult situation to be in and I understand why you'd be concerned / confused.

On the one hand, you have a man who treats you right and you can, personally, see past his "less than attractive" physical qualities. On the other hand, you feel a bit insecure about how it looks to others. I assume that's because you don't want others negatively judging you OR him and not because you are "all about appearances" and simply shallow. You don't sound shallow to me. It's just that people always preach about how looks shouldn't matter but the sad truth is that looks DO have a lot to do with relationships. That's the (un)fortunate truth.

I'm not sure if I could overcome not being physically attracted to my SO. Let me be clear - my husband is 5'5" (I'm only 5'1" so the height is irrelevant to me) with red hair and freckles but, I find him to be THE MOST attractive man I've ever seen and I love to show him off to everyone. Conventionally, he's probably not everyone cup of tea but ugh, he certainly is mine!

Anyway, I think... this is very personal to you and it's only something you can answer. If it were me, I think it *might* be a deal breaker because I was to feel confident and happy to show off my man. I'd hate to go out in public with him and feel insecure and a bit embarrassed.

Answer

You're so caring, honest and thoughtful. I hope I would be the same way if I was in a relationship like this. I'm in a relationship right now where my boyfriend is a little shorter and I've had similar worries about what other people think, but I try to push them away. I hope things are going well for you💜🌻😊 your soul seems to be a beautiful and caring place, so no matter what I think you will be okay

Answer

How important is attraction to you? You're already dating him, he treats you right, the sex is bomb, but because your friends grimace at his appearance, you question whether attraction is important. That's going to be YOUR opinion. I don't date the most attractive guys, I date guys who won't waste my time and treat me wrong. And I don't care what anyone says about their looks. I'm the one dating him. So you have to ask yourself, If I get ashamed when other people judge his looks, not even knowing how good of a bf he is, should I really be dating him?

Answer

I think you need to stop thinking about what everyone else thinks about him. You are second guessing him because your more focused on what others think of him, that's not right. You say you love him yet you are finding things about him that you don't like I guess.

You need to ask yourself this are you more focused on his looks or his personality.

Answer

Breakup with him, he deserves to have a woman that actually loves him and is attracted to him in every way and a woman who isn't afraid to go in public with him or have him around your fiends/ family.

Answer

If you're in love with him and you're HAPPY being with him, I think you should stay with him. However, if his appearance is making you doubt your relationship and if you simply do not want to be with him, break up. It's very simple. If you're happy with him, don't break up.

Answer

1: who cares what others say 
2: if you don't find him attractive at all he probably deserves someone better, someone who accepts all his flaws whether they be looks or whatever 
Honestly I lost my trail of thought and forgot my third point but you get where I'm going with it

How important is attraction?

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