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Depression

I've been dealing with Anxiety and Depression for most of my life, I am now 21 and just recently started getting that taste of depression back, sometimes it'll only last a day or so, although I know it's still there I just won't feel so broken hearted.

I've simply come to the realization that I am a terrible person. I'm jealous, I can be selfish, I am insanely impulsive. I do not know how to love myself

I have even tried to convince myself that it is possible to shut my emotions off. I just don't like feeling all of these things that make me so terrible.

It is very hard for me to keep a job because I get so anxious, one day will ruin it for me.

I've tried meditation but it hurts me.

I've seen counselors, but they're expensive if you don't have insurance (which I don't)

I don't want to keep trying anymore if this is all my life is going to consist of. I have no hope for myself anymore

I've tried so hard for all these years and I just end up back where I started

I don't know what to do

Or say

Or think

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