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I'm over feeling like this. :(

Our friends invited us round for dinner and sleep over for the night. Just after I walked through their door, she told me they are 12 weeks pregnant with twins and they weren't even ttc! 
I love my friend to bits and I am happy for them but now I'm sitting here trying to put a brave face on and keep back the tears. I've been Ttc for over two years. I hate feeling like this, it makes me feel so guilty and like a bitch because I'm sooo jealous and sad for myself. I never used to be the jealous type. I just started to feel strong again after feeling depressed about my infertility last week, and now I'm feeling inadequate again! FML... All I want to do is celebrate with my friend like a normal person but my sadness just takes over automatically. I don't know what to do anymore, I'm so over this. 
Please don't judge me I'm feeling fragile at the moment. 
Ch
Posted at Feb 11, 2017 • 9 responses

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Em
Posted at Feb 19, 2017
I know the feeling and I haven't even been trying as long. Don't feel bad for feeling like that. You ARE happy for her. You are just sad for you at the same time. It's ok.
Am
Posted at Feb 14, 2017
I have been TTC for 4.5 years. Years 2-3 were awful for me. Crying, depressed, jealous you name it. It was a struggle. I feel better now and am in a better place dealing with my feelings. If this is a struggle don't be scared to talk to someone. Looking back I wish I would have visited with a counselor. Chin up girl!
Je
Posted at Feb 12, 2017
I feel your pain as well. I had a miscarriage 3 months ago. My cousin recently found out she was expecting, she went for an ultrasound because she wasn't sure when she conceived and boom twins. It's hard every time I see someone with a baby or a pregnant person it hurts! Chin up you're not alone.
Sa
Posted at Feb 13, 2017
100% feel your pain, We've been trying for 14yrs, while being completely messed about by all the doctors, they keep cancelling all our appointments and pushing them back 6 months or more at a time, just when we feel that we might be getting somewhere, they push us back so we have to start all over again!! My best friend was given fertility treatment with ease, no cancelled appointments!! And then fell pregnant with no help last year, despite constantly crying on my shoulder how it wasn't fair that she couldn't have a baby after trying for a year and a half! Her first child turns one this month and she is pregnant again and wasn't even trying! I'm happy for her but at the same time so angry and upset, but I can't tell her that! Hang in there, fingers crossed you'll get your happy ending too xx
Ra
Posted at Feb 13, 2017
Totally understand!! 3 different friends of my hubby all found out they are prego recently...none of these babies planned and ive been ttc for 3 years. ITS FRUSTRATING!! I just try to be happy for them even though im jealous :(
Jo
Posted at Feb 11, 2017
Feeling your pain sweetheart! But when the time is right, it will be your turn. I know it is not easy, but the best thing to do is to be patince. But don't let it go on for many years, then I think it's better to look it up. There is soloution for everybody, dont worry. xo
Am
Posted at Feb 12, 2017
Totally feel you! I have 3 miscarriages this year. Went to breakfast with a friend after the last one. She explained she was glad she & her husband didnt want any kids......next month......shes prego! Ugh. My green-eyed monster definitely came out under the smiles & congratulations.
Ch:  So sorry you've had to go through this! Sending you my prayers!
Am:  I also cried, all the way home, driving and sobbing.

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