warning TMI: U get what U give... or Do U?
My husband and I have been together for about a year and a month married for 4 months. Before we got together I always thought going down on a guy was disgusting. I hated the way it smelled and even if it was clean, the smell of cum made me sick to my stomach and I would vomit. Well, when my husband and I started dating I decided I wanted to do something special for him that I hadn't done for anyone else so I read up on all of the ways to give the best BJ and I learned rather quickly. (For the record..This is a guy I dated when I was 14-18 on and off but nothing sexual happened besides kissing and holding each other. Nothing more, we were both too nervous, lol.)
Anyways, the first time I did it I didn't love it still but I wanted to make him happy so I did it and acted like I enjoyed it allot more than I did. Well I eventually learned to like it because I loved making him happy and making him feel that way I hadn't made anyone feel before and it was so special for both of us.
Well, I have been married before any ex LOVED eating me out and it was my FAVORITE thing. It probably was because I have never been able to get that O out of intercourse.
Back to my husband... now when we first started going out he tried to do it in the car one time and it didn't work out well so we waited till the next day. He tried then but I wanted to give him a bj for the first time and then he started to try but I really wanted to make love to him. After that we never got around to it again. Since that time he has started to maybe once or twice and that's it. Then he said it was really special to him so he wanted to wait till we were married. Then we got married and... yeah... it hasn't happened since then either. I've expressed my strong desire for this especially being pregnant and being REALLY turned on almost all the time and he's said he knows he needs to man up and do it, but he still hasn't done anything about it. Ive asked him what it is that is stopping him, if he's nervous about not doing it right or if he finds my smell unpleasant, which my ex still tells me I have always smelled/tasted amazing there. But he says nothing is stopping him...I've just given up on it EVER happening, but it makes me feel like he doesn't find me desirable. It's even hard to get him to TOUCH my vag, or play with my breasts. It's just giving him what he wants (a bj) or sex. What do I do about this? I've even wondered if this is something I can live without but I don't want to give him up. I feel like I'm being selfish for wanting him to do that, but I did it when I didn't want to and had to grow to like it too. Guess my pregnancy hormones are just making me overthink if he really loves me or not. Any suggestions of what to do, how to get over wanting this that my husband does not want to do? Please be kind when replying. I've typed this thing a thousand times before and always deleted it before I posted it, because I feel like I'm being stupid asking people about it and giving them so much personal details about my life. Well... I hope maybe someone can say something that will help me. I've gotten so depressed about this that I hate myself at times for gaining almost 30 lbs and have had to go on anti-depressants because of it. Please help
Comment
Add Comment
Let's Glow!
Achieve your health goals from period to parenting.
