Am I crazy

I am a mummy to four beautiful children youngest is only four weeks and I am so sad he will be my last I found myself looking at him crying my eyes out because he is my last firsts if that makes sense I'm so tired and I'm still traumatised after his birth as he was a big baby but I'm just so sad I won't ever feel the wriggles or get that feeling g of giving birth again. Am I crazy lol