I know this is an aweful place to post this but it's not like I can talk to any of my friends about this anyway:-/ I don't cut. I've only done it twice in my life, and both of those times I was in a abusive relationship when he told me he wanted me to suffer and hurt so that he would know for sure that I loved him(I know, messed up, but I was in a bad place) now I'm in a relationship with a better man but I feel so trapped and their is literally nothing good about the relationship except that we love eachother. He's suicidal so if I hint about leaving in any way he threatens me, himself, or the people around me and I know I can get help but I'm not in a place where I can ask people for help without them judging me for the rest of my life. I'm getting nowhere in life, I can't sleep ever, I had to drop out of college because for some reason I just can't concentrate anymore and it's not worth it to just fail so I'm out now. I can't get a job anywhere. I can't do anything with myself and honestly I'm so tired of trying because whenever I try to make something of myself it fails. I don't have anyone really there for me, I just hang out with my friends and do stuff but I've never had anyone close enough to share things with. I can't open up to my family at all because they are so judgmental and would view me as some broken glass if I say I'm struggling. I'm not suicidal, I've always been strong, is it normal to have these thoughts where you don't want to die, but you just don't want to keep going either? Like I'm just tired. I'm not emo or broken or suicidal or whatever I'm just tired. And I know the only reason I feel like I want to cut is because it's something I use to do ina bad situation. But what do I do now when I get stressed out. I need ideas so I don't think about it anymore. Does anyone have any ideas?