Husband Freaking Out
My husband and I have been together for 13 years and married for almost 2. I am 6 weeks pregnant. We planned for this baby and tried for about a year before conceiving. Honestly, he wanted this baby more than me and really talked it up. He asked for a band aid while I was folding clothes. I said he knows where all that stuff is and that it's been in the same spot since we bought the house. All the sudden he tells me that he wants to leave because I am miserable to be around. He said I make him feel stupid and that he's successful in his career and I need to respect that. He's a band director, and his band just won the state championship about 6 months ago. I said being successful at work has nothing to do with knowing where the band aids are. He literally said he doesn't want to live with me but can't leave because he doesn't have anywhere else to go. He said that 80% of the time he can't stand me and isn't happy. I said this was really bad timing and I wishe I knew before I got pregnant. He said he knows and that he won't leave because he doesn't want to be stuck paying child support for 18 years. I asked if he loved me, and he said yes but then said he loved the me that I used to be. I just kept telling him that he didn't have to stay.
A few smaller things I think led to this build up...he recently lost some weight and fished for compliments repeatedly, but when I gueninely complimented him he got mad because it wasn't enough or right or something. Friday, we had friends over and everything was great. Saturday, we didn't do a lot and then watched a movie that night. I fell asleep (because it turns out that growing a baby is exhausting!) and when I woke up he was super mad and sulking but wouldn't say what was wrong. Sunday, we had a great day out and about, had a nice lunch, and had great sex later that afternoon. A couple hours earlier he said that he knew that at some point he figured we wouldn't be attracted to each other anymore, but that he didn't think it'd be this soon and he was worried what I'd look like post-baby. Later, he said that I keep him from going out now...Remember we just had people over two days ago. Apparently he wanted to go watch a friend's band play. I wouldn't have cared if he went, but he didn't give me that opportunity. He didn't even tell me about it, and then got mad that he didn't go and blamed me. Then, the blow up.
I don't know how to feel or react at all. I feel hurt, and I want him to stay because I love him, we have a great life together, and the baby of course. But at the same time, if he doesn't love me, there's no point because he'd feel trapped and be unhappy. I am so happy about this baby, and now this. Is he just worried? What is this craziness? Has anyone experienced anything similar or have any words of wisdom?
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