Are your husband's excited?

Question

Just venting. I'll be taking a break from TTC because my husband is clearly not ready for children.

I'll be 29 years old in May and I've told myself I want to have my first child before 30 and my husband knows this and seemed on board. But he has the "if it happens it happens" attitude to this which his mother added to when she said "kids just happen".

My husband did say we could start trying this year but since then shows zero interest in actually trying. First cycle that I used OPK's I made the mistake of telling him I was in my fertile window because of the excitement of using OPK and seeing that it worked. He said he feels like I'm only using him for his sperm. Since then I don't tell him but it's like he figures out I'm ovulating and we'll have sex but he either won't or is unable to come inside of me and then just wants a handjob. So I'm calling it quits for now and hopes my husband comes around to actually wanting this.

Thank you for reading. I don't really have anyone else to talk to.

Answer

My hubby really, really, really wants a baby...BUT he still can't wrap his head around ttc. He swore up and down that the fertile window was just not a thing. It caused a lot of friction between us...

He hated the pressure of timing sex. I think that's pretty common for guys. And they like to think their sperm is freaking magical, so potent that it can defy biology and cause ovulation. Facing the truth, that it's a crap shoot, and their sperm is just normal, average, regular human sperm is a crushing blow to the ego.

I found it helpful to not tell him about all the ttc stuff. Glow has a feature for partners. It's helpful because now my hubby knows all by himself and he now initiates the ttc sex, giving him control and understanding he didn't have before. It's really helped take the pressure off both of us.

Good luck!

Answer

I'm having this exact problem. This month we had sex twice in my fertile period. Then in my peak days he was just 'too tired' and came to bed and fell asleep almost as his head hit the pillow. There was nothing I could do to influence this. Then a few days after I had a complete breakdown. Not just because of this but because of work-stress as well. I felt like I was the only one trying, like I'd lose my husband if he thought we only had sex on my fertile days, like he wouldn't enjoy sex with me anymore, etc. Just completely irrational thoughts.

We had a chat about ttc and he, as well, thought you could conceive anytime of the month...like days before AF. He didn't understand that we only have a few days that count. So I've decided to stop discussing it with him - even though he's the one that says 'can we make a baby tonight.' It's too much pressure for me and him. So I don't think I'm going to stress about it anymore. I think I'll make use of the calendar we have up - marking the days that are important throughout the month and that way he can see them and I don't have to feel like a sex pest.

Answer

My boyfriend was the same. There were months we didn't have sex during my fertile window at all. Probably why it took so long. I had a full on my down over Xmas when my SIL told me she was pregnant and he got on board a lot more. He didn't realise there was a tiny window to fall pregnant in. We BD every other day during my fertile window in Dec and got our BFP January. Unfortunately we lost it. Sit down and talk to him. Tell him how important it is that you have a family. I wouldn't tell him when you're ovulating either, just seduce him 😉

Answer

You have literally told my EXACT story.

Answer

I was I a very similar boat. My hubby was desperate for a bub but the pressure of knowing I was fertile was too much. So I continued to track secretly but tried to randomise when we dtd so that he couldn't guess. Perseverance was the key for me, it took months of hiding the opk evidence and initiating sex but we got there in the end. Good luck 😊

Answer

Oysh sorry you're going through this.id suggest to continue to track without telling him. Also have a good convo with him to see why he doesn't seem ready. And I would also recommend coming on to him a lot when you are not ovulating throughout the month. His ego might just be taking a hit. Guys can be super sensitive haha

Answer

My husband wanted a kid as much as I did, so we did have sex.. but he did also feel like it was chore and he was a bit pressured and stressed but so was I. Of course kids just happen but they don't happen out of air, sex is mandatory duh. He needs to be more cooperative and supportive..

Are your husband's excited?

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